Encouragement Archives - Motivated Mom

Take the time to appreciate!

This Saturday marked the start of my 37^th year on this planet. My single request wasn’t cake or gifts or a party. I got none of those things. I wanted to road trip three hours away (by myself!) and visit one of my oldest and dearest friends.

On Saturday, I kissed my husband and kids goodbye and began my adventure! I gave a few dollars to a man with a cardboard sign, stopped at a chocolate store (yum), and chatted with a stranger while I ate my lunch. I was making a conscious effort to get outside of myself and connect with other people. It was lovely.

But wait, there’s more…

This is one of the most beautiful, bizarre things that’s ever happened to me.

In town, as I drove through an intersection, there were about 40 people on all sides of this street corner- men, women, and children of all ages. They all had signs that said-

“God bless you!”

“God is not dead!”

“He is with you!”

Not only that, but they were yelling too, “Jesus loves you!”

“Jesus LOVES YOUUUUUU!”

The encounter was brief- just a street corner and just a moment. I made eye contact with a few people. With my hand on my heart, I beamed with joy. They smiled too. We connected. It was beautiful.

I drove a few more miles and thought to myself that I needed to get a picture of these people! This was a moment of pure joy, and I wanted to capture it. So I turned back around to find them. They were gone from the street corner.

Uhhh….

Did I just make that whole thing up? Was I a crazy lady who was seeing imaginary people on the street corner?! (I am getting older…I could be losing it!)

But wait!

I saw them walking down the block to the next street. I circled the block and found a place to park. I got out of my car with my camera in hand. I intended to tell them how much our brief encounter had touched me.

I was so excited, though, first words that blurted out of my mouth were, “It’s my birthday!” The entire congregation of this church (remember, like 40 people!) cheered and sang me “Happy Birthday!” Then all the women of the church asked for permission to give me hugs. They proceeded to pray over me in Spanish while one person translated in English for me to understand.

This encounter left me with a full heart. Can you imagine an entire group of strangers singing, praying, and hugging you? It was incredible. A chance meeting turned into so much more that I had ever imagined it could be.

Why did this happen?

I went out of my way to appreciate someone.

I deviated from my journey, so that I could acknowledge these people. I wanted to tell them how they were making a difference. They really were. Who knows how many other lives they had touched on the corner that day?! It certainly made an impact on me.

Moral of this bizarre birthday story?

Take a moment to appreciate someone.

Appreciate those around you whether it’s your family, you best friend, or a stranger.

You never know what you may receive in return!

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Dear Mom, Be the REAL You!

Dear Mom,

There is only one you. Whether you realize it or not, you are special. Somebody thinks you’re a rock star. (Probably a whole bunch of people!) Stop hiding behind what you think you should be and just be the real, authentic you. You will be happier and that will make those around you happier too.

Everyone has ideas about what a Mom should be. They come from expectations put on us by our society, our communities, and our families. Moms need to adjust their thinking so that they can take some pressure off! Once we let go of who we THINK we should be, we can relax and just be ourselves. A happier, less stressed version of ourselves. Doesn’t that sound lovely?

I have this picture of what a “good mom” should be. You know who she is? This is so ridiculous, but I’m going to tell you anyway.

– She’s a woman that loves her family. (check)

– She’s that 1950’s woman who kept a clean home. (fail)

– She serves her family fancy dinners. (total fail)

– She grows her own vegetables in the garden. (I have a weed garden!)

– She has nice hair (me: ponytail) and adorable outfits. (me: jeans and tees)

Oh, oh. Let’s add a little modern day “good mom” to my description…

She’s also Pinterest perfect.

– Yep, she does ALL the crafts. (It’s all I can do to keep my little one from eating the crayons.)

– She makes the adorable, homemade outfits. (I sewed a curtain once.)

– She makes pancakes in the shape of Mickey Mouse for her children and other equally fabulous treats and meals. (Hot dogs and fruit snacks, anyone?!)

She is SUCH a good mom.

I wish I was that Mom. The real, authentic me hates to cook. I hate gardening. What do I like? I like wearing my hair in a ponytail. I like listening to personal development podcasts, reading, traveling, and taking my kids on adventures.

I am going to give myself permission to throw away that “good mom” idea in my head and realize that being a good mom means being a happy mom and being a happy mom means doing the things I really like and not doing the things I don’t like. Sorry kiddos, you will never get a gourmet lunch box meal from me. It’s not my style.

So please, fellow Mom, shake off that person you “should” be and just be you. Everyone was born with a very unique set of gifts and talents. Let’s accept the fact that not all of us are Martha Stewart.

Tap into those gifts you were given and share them with those around you. Be the real, authentic you.

PS Do NOT let another mom tell you that you’re a bad mom because you don’t do it their way! There’s more than one way to pack a lunch! 😉

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A plant tried to wreck my day

A plant tried to wreck my day.

It failed. Let me explain…

It’s been a shitty day. I’m not trying to swear on this blog, but some words are not as descriptive as swear words… so it was shitty.

It started out with my cranky three-year-old screaming, “Don’t look at me!” while I was trying to get him ready for daycare. This was emphasized with a hand in my face and a dirty look. We managed to get past that and finally got ready for the day.

Except we couldn’t leave, because I couldn’t find my car keys! After some frantic searching, I gave up and had to grab the spare set. I was driving and looked down at my hand. Under my fingernail was some unidentifiable crud. My deep thought was…I sure hope that’s dirt and not poop. (I live with two toddlers and a baby- poop happens.)

I was low on gas, so I stopped at the gas station and got everything set up to fuel my vehicle. I started cleaning out my (super sylin’) minivan where consequently, I ended up finding the original set of missing keys…only to realize several wasted minutes later that I was not actually pumping any gas. *sigh* So I let out a few expletives under my breath and got the pump humming. When I was hurriedly finishing up, I dropped the nozzle straight to the ground. Thunk. Swear. I’ve only been awake for two hours and all I want to do is crawl back into bed!

Karma, you’re not on my side today. I’m not going to let it get me down, though, I will stay positive! I actually said out loud, “Reset! Reset!” I read that in a self-help book that you can reprogram your mind to reset. Did it work? Hmmm…not sure it reset my day, but it reminded me to keep my chin up.

When I got to work, things were MEH. As the day wore on, I had to open the same computer program three times, the email attachment wouldn’t work, and I missed a deadline. These are all every day, minor annoyances that were magnified because of all the other cruddy things that had happened so far in the day.

Here’s what you’ve been waiting for. The plant that tried to ruin my day. There is a plant called mother- in-law’s tongue on my window sill at work. *Mother-in-law’s tongue…that’s the actual name of the plant. I swear, that is a real thing. I didn’t make it up.

This is Mother-in-Law’s Tongue. Please note: This is not the offending plant. This plant is innocent.

It was a beautiful summer day today. I opened the window. Below the window, my lunch sack, my purse (open) and another bag with my laptop, planner, and notes in it (also open). You see where this is going, right? A gust of wind came in through the window and blew that *Mother down. Dirt in my purse, bag, and all over the floor. Let me tell you, that plant retained water. So I wasn’t just cleaning up dirt, I was cleaning up a muddy, dirty mess.

At least it wasn’t poop, right?

I just shook my head and said out loud, “I’m not going to let this ruin my day!”

At this point, I wish I could tell you that my day turned around, and everything was hunky-dory. Unfortunately, that was not the case. The rest of the day continued to be MEH. I stayed positive, but I was also positively exhausted. In the poker game of life, my hand today was a bust.

I am writing this at 10:10 pm. It feels like 3 am. I am exhausted, but I wanted to write how I was feeling at this exact moment. Tomorrow is another day, but I wanted to capture THIS day. Someone out there is feeling this “I need toothpicks to hold my eyes open” exhaustion. Somebody else had a shitty day. I’m with ya, Sister. Right here with ya. Shitty days are going to happen. We can let them defeat us, or we can dig in, clean up the mess, and carry on. Tomorrow is another day.

Stay positive, Friend!

What do you tell yourself to stay positive on bad days? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Comment below!

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Living the Dream

The other night, my husband asked me how I was. Wasn’t that a thoughtful question? Unfortunately, I was in the middle of changing a nasty blowout of a diaper. I replied (with sarcasm, of course), “Living the dream!”

Tonight as I was changing an even nastier diaper (yuuuuccckkk!), I had a flashback to that conversation. With no one but a squirmy baby to talk to, I said to myself, “Living the dream!” (Sarcastically, of course.) Then I stopped- not changing the diaper, I had to keep plowing through that mess- but with my thinking. I thought to myself, you really are living the dream. You’re living someone’s dream of having a baby. You see, I know more than one person who has wanted kids but can’t physically have children. I’m over here popping babies out like a champion. I’m living the dream.

Then I started thinking about my home. My old farm house has uneven, annoyingly squeaky wood floors in the dining room and carpet in the bathroom. Yes, you read that correctly. I have carpet in my bathroom. Whomever thought this was a brilliant idea MUST have been past the potty training stage. I’ve been having a little green monster of envy lately wishing that I had a nicer, newer house. Those people look like they’re living the dream with the brand new homes and perfectly manicured lawns. Not us, we have a mole. A giant rodent is currently tearing up my yard. Then I have to stop and think of what I do have in my life. I have a beautiful, old home with lots of space for the children to run (and destroy) without worry. I can say that this is good. This is great. I’m living someone’s dream. Because somewhere out there, there is a Mom with her family living in the city in a tiny, cramped apartment with no space or home of their own. I’m living the dream.

I think of our country- the great U.S.A. and I could say with much sarcasm and even disdain (given the current state of our politics), aren’t we here “Living the dream?!” But guess what? We sure the heck are! Some countries out there are so poor that they don’t have the basic necessities that we take for granted (like indoor bathrooms with carpet). Not to mention the freedom to live the way we choose and believe what we want to believe! We’ve got it all in America (except free health care, but that’s a whole other blog post, isn’t it?!) We are living the dream.

So I guess my point of all this is….drum roll please…even though your situation may not be ideal, you’re living the dream! If you can’t see what you have, just ask someone less fortunate than yourself. You have SO many blessings, Friend. Don’t forget to count them.

Until next time, keep living the dream!

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FEAR Is a Dream Killer…

I have been meaning to start this blog for about two years now. It was my New Year’s Resolution to start blogging in 2014. What stopped me? FEAR. I was actually dusting off my writing skills for someone else. I wrote one article. I thought it was sweet and simple and thoughtful. Then, that person told me they DIDN’T want me to write for them. They said, “Nobody cares what you have to say, anyway.”

Uhh… okay.

Nobody cares what I have to say.

NOBODY cares what I have to say.

NOBODY CARES what I have to say.

I let that statement sink in to my spirit. When I allowed that to happen, FEAR settled in. You can’t start a blog. Nobody cares what you have to say. You are certainly no expert on any topic. You want to write about Motherhood? Sure you’re a Mom, but what do you really know? You struggle every day. Some days are good, yes, but some days you fail miserably at being a good parent. What if you make a fool out of yourself? What if you really do suck at writing? What if you fail?

FEAR. I allowed FEAR to eat at me. I continued to talk and talk and talk to my friends (sorry peeps!) about blog ideas, articles, what content I could put out there that might be encouraging or relatable to other moms. But I didn’t. I just keep letting FEAR keep me captive. Kept telling myself that I wasn’t good enough. I continued to tell myself that nobody cared what I had to say.

It actually makes me cry. Not kidding you. I’m sitting here in the public library with my piles of scrap paper surrounding me (which have a TON of ideas and thoughts and dreams and goals scribbled on them), and I’m welling up. I can’t believe I was so weak. I can’t believe I let some other person tell me MY value. I cannot believe that I allowed myself to be paralyzed by FEAR for so long.

So what makes today different? It’s my birthday. The day that I was brought into this world. I’ve seen 36 of these special days so far in my life, and if I’m lucky, I’m not even halfway to the other side. This day is about birth. This day represents a new beginning.

I’m giving myself a birthday gift today. I’m taking the word FEAR out of my vocabulary. I am shaking off the chains that hold me down from my highest potential. I am a good person. I do matter. I have value, and people DO care what I have to say.

FEAR is like cancer. It can get inside and spread until it paralyzes us and crushes our spirit. FEAR is a dream killer. There is hope, though. You can wrestle FEAR down, shove it in a box, set the box on fire, and be free. (If only it were that easy!)

I can’t take away your FEAR, but I can offer you this…

You are a good person. You matter. You have value.

Don’t wait for some special day to get over your FEAR. Start today, because what you have to offer the world is too important to wait one more day. Don’t allow FEAR to kill your dreams.

Go for it!

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