Sounds like a dream, right? I know what you’re thinking right now, “Accept yourself? That’s impossible! You don’t know me. I am ugly. I’m broken. I’m not good enough.” To this I say, my friend, no one is as hard on you as you are on yourself. It’s time to go ahead and accept yourself and all your beautiful flaws.
Let Me Tell You a Story…
Let me tell you a little story about my outfit the other day. Picture this: I was wearing a flowing, navy floral print top over super dark, straight leg denim jeans. I was also wearing these lovely black square toe dress shoes with an inch heel that peeked out from underneath my jeans. Yep, I was styling. Totally put together and standing tall- both literally and figuratively.
There’s something magical about wearing the perfect outfit. It makes you more confident and ready to take on the world. (If you don’t have an outfit like this, you need to go shopping immediately!) I went about my day with the knowledge that I was looking (and feeling) good.
I got home and took off my shoes. That’s when I saw it. My shoes. To my horror, I was wearing one black shoe and one dark brown shoe! Turns out I was NOT wearing the perfect outfit. I had a serious flaw in my wardrobe.
Why Flaws Matter
Can you imagine if I’d noticed the shoe error earlier in the day? I can! My self confidence would have deflated immediately. I would have been completely embarrassed. No walking tall for me. I’d have been doing some sort of crazy little old lady shuffle or flamingo move (hiding one leg) to cover up the mismatched shoes.
Turns out, if you don’t notice the flaw, it’s not an issue. I was able to confidently go about my day because I didn’t notice. Flaws only matter when you point them out and magnify them.
How can I accept myself?
To be honest, I don’t have this figured out 100%. What I do know is this:
- Recognize that no one is perfect. We all have flaws. You know that beautiful woman who always looks put together effortlessly? The one that you’re super jealous of? She’s flawed and you just don’t see it. Maybe she has terrible anxiety or a messed up family life. You don’t know. Guaranteed, though, her life is not all rainbows and roses. We each have our own set of issues and flaws.
- It’s okay to recognize flaws, but don’t focus on them. Ignore those long, beautiful eyelashes, and focus on the mole. (Insert whatever body parts fit in your scenario.) Or berate ourselves for not cooking a home-cooked meal for our family like so-and-so but in the process ignoring the fact that we wrapped up an amazing business deal at work. There are always flaws, and there’s greatness in us too. Let’s focus on what we do great instead of kicking ourselves over and over for what’s not so great.
- Be your own best friend. We need to work on treating ourselves as if we LIKE ourselves… as if we’re our own friend! The things you say to yourself? They’re so mean! Knock it off. Please, please give yourself the gift of friendship. It’s easy to accept a flaw in someone that you love. If you love yourself, you should accept your beautiful self…flaws and all.
- There’s only one YOU… and that makes you super rare and valuable. Think of yourself as a diamond in the rough! Diamonds are formed under immense pressure and crazy, hot temperatures. Then they are shot to the surface by volcanic eruptions. (No joke, you can read about that here.) Sounds like your life, am I right? You’re under crazy amounts of pressure and at times you reach your boiling point… Listen, you go through all that craziness, because YOU are a diamond, my friend. You just have to dust yourself off and get your shine back!
Your Beautiful Flaws
As a mother, we don’t point out our children’s flaws. Instead, we magnify all of their good qualities and features. Why is it so difficult to do that for ourselves?
The truth is that each of us are flawed in some way. There’s no shame in that. Be a friend to yourself. Love yourself and all your beautiful flaws.