When someone you love hurts you, how do you react? There are many ways to handle a hurtful situation. Some are healthy, and some are destructive. Let’s talk about what you can do to heal after the pain of being hurt by someone you care about deeply.
Usually when someone you love hurts you, it’s ugly. It makes you feel lousy. It probably makes them feel lousy.
I’m going to compare this heart hurt to a physical hurt. Let’s say you’re walking down the street and you trip. You take a tumble and end up scraping your knee hard. Ouch! It’s bleeding. There is pain. You may even let a few cuss words fly.
It happens. Every once in awhile you’re going to have a fight or fall down. (I mean that both literally and figuratively.) Pain is going to occur. No one ever wants it to- we might even take precautions in order to keep our bodies and our hearts safe, but if we’re not careful, the wound occurs.
AFTER THE FALL
What now? Well, you clean up your knee, so the wound doesn’t get infected, right?
Same with your loved one. You’ve gotta do the unpleasant work of cleaning up the wound. It may be painful, but best to do it right away so it doesn’t get any worse. If you wait, things could get messier. (Think infected, oozing wound…nasty, right?! Same could happen to your relationship if you don’t clean up the hurt!)
Talk it out. Find common ground. Explain your view, listen to theirs (really listen), and find some compromise on how you can resolve your issues.
HEALING THE WOUND
Here’s where I’m going to be blunt with you (and slightly gross, sorry). Stop picking the scab! Seriously, when you continue to bring up the hurt over and over- that’s picking the scab. You need to properly clean it up, then you need to leave it alone. Let it heal, my Friend.
Stop picking the old wound and adding to it every new fight. It’s just compounding the pain and hurt. It will never have the chance to heal if you keep busting it wide open.
Remember, it takes time for any hurt to heal. Even if you’ve taken all the steps to properly care and fix the hurt, it may take a while to heal. That’s okay.
Sometimes, you can heal completely. No visible (or invisible) wounds linger. That’s awesome! Most of the time, we’re left with some sort of scar. It may be faint. It might be life altering. Scars happen. When you look at your scars, just remember that each of them taught you a lesson. You healed. It made you stronger, and it changed you.
No one gets out of this world unscathed. We all get hurt at some point. Many times, how we heal from those hurts are up to us. We don’t ever get to choose how big the hurt is, but we can help ourselves heal.
Do yourself a favor. Clean up the wound, so it doesn’t turn into a bigger hurt. Whatever you do, try not to pick the scab.
Take care, dear Friend.
Recommended Reading: Accept Yourself and Your Beautiful Flaws; 5 Reasosns to Never Give Up on Your Dreams; What Makes Something Important